Walking Breakdown

Well, I've been trying to write this one for about two years now... When someone gets pneumonia, generally speaking they're laid out hard and have a short but intense period of treatment. But when someone gets walking pneumonia, it's not as severe and they can manage school or work or whatever responsibilities they have, but … Continue reading Walking Breakdown →

Re-examining My Sexual Assault Through an Autism Lens

Content warning: Obviously sexual assault, somewhat graphic description of unwanted physical contact. If you require support or more information on sexual assault, I highly recommend RAINN.org. This is my second "re-examining" post on a major, life-changing event (the first one was my suicide attempt). As a late-diagnosed autistic, I have of course experienced most of … Continue reading Re-examining My Sexual Assault Through an Autism Lens →

Autism Book Shelf: What I Mean When I Say I’m Autistic

This book came from a recommendation on one of the ND Facebook groups I'm in. The post was by someone looking for books to give to people in their circle, family and friends, to help explain what it's like to be autistic...and maybe to legitimize the experience, because for whatever fake reason, if it's printed … Continue reading Autism Book Shelf: What I Mean When I Say I’m Autistic →

I Guess I Like That I’m Autistic

A friend of mine posted a question on Facebook: Let’s start today out with some self-loveand positivity! What’s something you like about yourself? Some people went with physical traits, others a personality trait--there were no wrong answers here. I went with my inability to see social hierarchy. No one has inherent authority (so I’m great … Continue reading I Guess I Like That I’m Autistic →

Poor Interoception: When Your Body Keeps Secrets From You

The Bladder of Steel, one of my superpowers. I can do an 11-hour drive without stopping. I can work the booth at a trade show or festival on my own without having to pee--or even find food and water (same issue, different things to not actually brag about). I can hyperfocus on a project and … Continue reading Poor Interoception: When Your Body Keeps Secrets From You →

Grief: Can I Have It or Do I Want It?

Content warning: death, loss, and what might seem like insensitive discussion of them. It's clear that I don't feel or process emotions the way most people do. Without professional confirmation on this, I'm pretty certain I am alexithymic (I don't see a therapist, but it came up during my ASD assessment), and in combination with … Continue reading Grief: Can I Have It or Do I Want It? →

Finding Home

I'm marking the fourth anniversary of my move to Chicago. Thing is, I grew up in Chicago, spending the bulk of my first 24 years here. But as we know, autistic people commonly feel uncomfortable, out of place, wherever they are--and since I didn't know I was autistic, I just carried this mysterious and frustrating … Continue reading Finding Home →

A Different Kind of Imposter Syndrome

Caught my "resting me face" while getting ready for a call. Oops. It's been about three weeks since I received my autism diagnosis and I've been trying to figure out how and why I feel different about myself. Because I do feel very different, and it's mostly really great. Aside from everything else, it's a … Continue reading A Different Kind of Imposter Syndrome →

Baby Steps to Diagnosis: Part 4 (The Diagnosis)

If you've been following along with the Baby Steps series (or longer than that), you can maybe imagine the buildup to my results appointment. It took about four weeks following my in-person testing -- I was expecting three weeks, so that extra week was painful and I did end up sending a check-in email in … Continue reading Baby Steps to Diagnosis: Part 4 (The Diagnosis) →

Baby Steps to Diagnosis: Part 3

Following my intake interview, I had some homework to complete before the in-person testing. These were the four questionnaires I was assigned: An online quiz made up of maybe 400 true/false statements. This was the most difficult, since so many of them were judgments or used vague wording or wording so absolute that I wasn't … Continue reading Baby Steps to Diagnosis: Part 3 →