The Bladder of Steel, one of my superpowers. I can do an 11-hour drive without stopping. I can work the booth at a trade show or festival on my own without having to pee–or even find food and water (same issue, different things to not actually brag about). I can hyperfocus on a project and … Continue reading Poor Interoception: When Your Body Keeps Secrets From You →
Content warning: death, loss, and what might seem like insensitive discussion of them. It’s clear that I don’t feel or process emotions the way most people do. Without professional confirmation on this, I’m pretty certain I am alexithymic (I don’t see a therapist, but it came up during my ASD assessment), and in combination with … Continue reading Grief: Can I Have It or Do I Want It? →
I’m marking the fourth anniversary of my move to Chicago. Thing is, I grew up in Chicago, spending the bulk of my first 24 years here. But as we know, autistic people commonly feel uncomfortable, out of place, wherever they are–and since I didn’t know I was autistic, I just carried this mysterious and frustrating … Continue reading Finding Home →
This one had been recommended to me personally as well as popped up in autism groups: Jenara Nerenberg’s Divergent Mind: Thriving in a World That Wasn’t Designed for You. Especially when it was backordered when I tried to get it, I was really excited to read it–recommended by neurodivergents and hard to get? It must … Continue reading Autism Book Shelf: Divergent Mind →
Autistic people are all different, much like neurotypicals are all different, so we’re all going to have our own challenges. A super common challenge is surprises. It’s a big one for me, for sure. I love routine. I love knowing what’s around the corner. I love knowing which characters will die in a book or … Continue reading No Surprises, Please →
It’s been about three weeks since I received my autism diagnosis and I’ve been trying to figure out how and why I feel different about myself. Because I do feel very different, and it’s mostly really great. Aside from everything else, it’s a very long project I’ve completed, from entertaining the idea that I might … Continue reading A Different Kind of Imposter Syndrome →
If you’ve been following along with the Baby Steps series (or longer than that), you can maybe imagine the buildup to my results appointment. It took about four weeks following my in-person testing — I was expecting three weeks, so that extra week was painful and I did end up sending a check-in email in … Continue reading Baby Steps to Diagnosis: Part 4 (The Diagnosis) →
Following my intake interview, I had some homework to complete before the in-person testing. These were the four questionnaires I was assigned: An online quiz made up of maybe 400 true/false statements. This was the most difficult, since so many of them were judgments or used vague wording or wording so absolute that I wasn’t … Continue reading Baby Steps to Diagnosis: Part 3 →
“I’m seeing a lot of anxiety here.” Yeah, that’s how you want to start an assessment. But it was true. After close to a year putting these pieces together for myself, it was finally time to present them to an authority on the subject in the hope of validation, which could then lead to some … Continue reading Baby Steps to Diagnosis: Part 2 →
These are all rolling a little late, since it’s been tough to write and edit and publish. Big happenings on the diagnosis front, along with the rest of life, so finding moments of calm has been a bit tricky. I have an appointment for my autism assessment! Two, actually, with a third one TBD. It … Continue reading Baby Steps to Diagnosis: Part 1 →
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