A lot of what I read about autism and relationships focuses on friendship: the lack of friends, the difficulty in making or keeping friends. I'd thought about it previously, but now it feels like something I should dig into... I have friends. And I think I'm a good friend--I try to be. I am a … Continue reading On Friendship
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Ugh, Hugs
In the first episode of Everything's Gonna Be Okay, Matilda is asked for a hug by her half-brother and explains that she doesn't like hugs. They'd made her dad happy so she learned to do them, but since he died she hoped she wouldn't have to do them anymore. (Her substitution idea was to dance … Continue reading Ugh, Hugs
Re-examining My Suicide Through an Autism Lens
Oh, where to begin with the content/trigger warnings? Seriously, just an open, graphic recounting and examination of some pretty rough stuff ahead. The title should imply it all: talk of suicide, psychological issues, hospitalization... You can't read this sort of thing without having some feelings about it, so feel free to walk away now. Still … Continue reading Re-examining My Suicide Through an Autism Lens
Second-Guessing My Memories
I just blew my own mind, so I'm sharing this with you in real time as I work through it. Bear with me. Both personally and professionally, I've written about plenty of social issues, but there are a few that I've consistently backed away from because I've never felt secure in my voice or position. … Continue reading Second-Guessing My Memories
While I Wait: The Consideration of Labels
I'm still writing from a place of self-assessment. Three months ago, I called and got myself on the waitlist at the AARTS Center at Rush, and then one week ago I called to check in, leaving a message that has not been returned. That's frustrating. I was told it would be 6-9 months before I … Continue reading While I Wait: The Consideration of Labels
Lost Girls Represent
In my research on neurodivergence, I've focused quite a bit on its presentation in girls/women/XX, because that's what I was and am, even I haven't experienced textbook gender roles. The term "The Lost Girls" keeps popping up, referring to girls born before experts started studying or identifying them as being on the spectrum. Even though … Continue reading Lost Girls Represent
The Writing Was on the Wall; We Just Couldn’t Read It
My mom sent me some images, pages out of my baby book. I don't know if they still do baby books or if it's ever been a universal thing, but it's a book full of prompts for parents to record their child's development. For example, there's a grid for first through fourth years, likes and … Continue reading The Writing Was on the Wall; We Just Couldn’t Read It
A Lifetime of Socially Acceptable Obsessions
Every once in a while, something happens and you're allowed to be really focused on the news. It's "current events," after all--responsible adults respect those who are aware of what's going on in the world. When there's big news that affects your community, no one will think twice about you watching live feeds, keeping a … Continue reading A Lifetime of Socially Acceptable Obsessions
Sorting Through the Noise
I called in sick today. Since we're working from home and I can technically work from bed, I could have been somewhat effective. But I felt all head-coldy and hadn't slept more than a few hours the past couple of nights, so I figured I might as well take the PTO that I am privileged … Continue reading Sorting Through the Noise
Masking & Anxiety & Living That Pandemic Life
I have 16 drafts in here waiting to be written or finished. When I first set up the blog, I opened the drafts--some only as titles and some with a bunch of notes--because I have so much to research and examine and make sense of, and I make sense of things mostly by writing about … Continue reading Masking & Anxiety & Living That Pandemic Life
